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Fear is an emotion, one of ten thousand labels people use to describe the state they’re in.
When we experience an emotion, it feels like it is just ‘happening’ to us, like we have no control.
Our experience tells us we can’t stop it – it is overwhelming sometimes, it seems to drive us. Fear drives us to freeze in the face of a circumstance, or run away from it to safety.
The truth about fear, and all other emotional experiences, is probably something quite different. According to Lisa Feldman-Barrett, distinguished neuroscientist and psychologist from North Eastern University , emotions come from somewhere. When they hit us, it is not from nowhere. It is at the end of a chain of events, a cascade that is entirely hidden from view – unconscious.
Emotions like fear are made, just like a cake has ingredients and cooking steps. Those steps are hidden from view, but because they are made, they can be unmade. Because they are made, we can swap our certain ingredients and make something else. Because they are made, we have choice, we can experience something else.
At the very least realise there is a lot of room to move when it comes to dealing with our emotions. We do have a lot of choice, and can become the creators not the puppets of our state.
Of course emotions do not feel like you have choice, but the essence of coaching is to help others see they do have choice, then can change and make a real difference in their own lives. As a coach, as a person who cares about someone else and their distress, you want to help them. There are at least four different ways to do that…
How to change the result
At the very least realise there is a lot of room to move when it comes to dealing with our emotions. We do have a lot of choice, and can become the creators not the puppets of our state.
Robert is an expert in the science of human behaviour and performance enhancement with a passion for neurology, leadership and the psychology of potential. He believes it is important to bring hard science to coaching, and that coaching practices be evidence based and research backed. Robert is a founding partner at Frazer, Holmes Coaching and current Director of Brand and Marketing for the International Coach Federation Australasia (ICFA). Robert is a professionally certified coach (PCC) with over 20 years of business experience and an ICF Accredited Mentor Coach. He is an Associate at the National Speaker's Association, a member of the Coaching Psychology interest group at the APS, a certified Action Learning Coach, a Member of the Australian Institute of Management Consultants.
