Yes, it’s that time of year again. Christmas will soon be upon us.
After the hype settles down, we will be into 2014, and some of us will make New Year’s resolutions.
On this note, I want to share some great news with you: you CAN make amazing New Year’s resolutions that will have a profound impact on your life in 2014! Many have ditched New Year’s resolutions because it is too discouraging when they fail to keep them. And yet, when we look back at 2013, there are some things about our life we wished were different. You didn’t finish the year on the “high” as you had hoped, and you want to achieve more next year.
Whether in your work or personal life, you want to experience a greater sense of purpose and the fulfilment that comes with it. Now is the time to make some great, hope-filled resolutions to rise up into that higher purpose! You know, you have everything within you to make the changes you resolve to make, and pursue the goals to you wish to achieve.
There are at least three reasons why people do not keep the resolutions that they make, and when we name, address, and understand these reasons, we find keys to making resolutions that you will keep. When we discover and use these keys to unlock the amazing potential within us, it is such a shot in the arm! You feel encouraged, enthused, and empowered, and you wonít even wait until next January to make more resolutions ñ you will make them at any time, with a conviction and a confidence that they will be realised.
If this is the case, then any action towards achieving the resolution will be thwarted, because we will not act in a manner that is inconsistent with the beliefs that we hold. Sometimes this limiting belief is easy to identify. For example, someone may resolve to get a higher paying job in the New Year, but may lack self-confidence because they hold a belief that they are not capable of taking on greater responsibility in the workplace. This could have come about because they previously made a mistake at work and it was not handled well. They may have been told that they were hopeless, and/or would never get very far in the workforce or words to that effect. When a person accepts words like this as being true, these words become a belief that limits them and their capacity.
Other limiting beliefs can take a bit more digging to identify. For example, a person makes a new yearís resolution to give up smoking. The root cause of smoking usually goes way beyond nicotine addiction and habit. If someone smokes to relieve stress, it is very
important to find the root cause of that stress, which could be a fear of failure, and/or a fundamental belief that they are not good enough. It will mean digging deeper again to find the reason they believe they are not good enough. This is but one example. Getting to the root cause of the limiting belief is critical, and depending on what it is, may need the assistance of an experienced coach.
Once the limiting belief is identified, and its cause is dealt with, one must ask the very important question: what would be a more empowering belief? For example ìI am a person of great worth.î or ìI have within me every resource I need to successfully achieve my goals.î The mind needs to be renewed with this new, empowering belief.
Thus the first key to making a new yearís resolution that you will keep is to ensure your beliefs are in line with your actions. If you have beliefs that are limiting what you want to achieve, replace them with more empowering beliefs, so that your beliefs are congruent with the resolution you wish to make.
Many people make resolutions to move away from something they donít want, rather than pursuing something they do want with a higher purpose in mind. For example, how many people make a new yearís resolution to take out a gym membership because they want to lose weight ñ i.e. they donít want to be fat? However, we will have a far greater chance of keeping our resolutions if, instead of moving away from something we donítí want, we in fact move towards something we do want. What would be the higher purpose of going to the gym? Our fitness would increase, our lifestyle would be healthier, we would have more energy, and we would therefore feel better about ourselves and our sense of fulfilment (and of course in the process we will lose weight!). Can you see the difference? When we resolve to go to the gym because we are pursuing a healthy lifestyle which gives us a greater inner fulfilment, we are moving towards something we want. Our motivation will be so much greater when we do this.
Now, once we have this higher purpose clear in our minds, then we can lament on what we are missing out on if we donít pursue it. Why? Because as human beings we do more to avoid pain than to seek pleasure. So, think about what you are missing out on by not pursuing a healthy lifestyle. You are missing out on having so much more energy to achieve more things, and buying new ìtrimî clothes. You canít ditch that wretched blood pressure and cholesterol medication which you hate having to take, etc. Crank up the pain of not pursuing a healthy lifestyle and all the fulfilment it brings, while keeping your heart and mind clearly on the pleasure you will gain when the higher purpose is realised.
And so, the second key to making a new yearís resolution that you will keep is to be clear on the higher purpose of the resolution, and ensure that what you are resolving is moving you towards something you want, rather than avoiding something you donít want.
Assuming that the resolution is consistent with empowering beliefs, and that the resolution is moving towards a conscious higher purpose, one still needs to take ACTION.
The reason people often fail to take action to make it happen is because they are not sure where to start. For example, I knew someone who made a new year’s resolution to move out of his current employment (which he detested) and into a different career. However, when the first opportunity came to apply for a job within the sphere he wanted, he found out that he did not possess the necessary training and educational qualifications. So he took no further action, and began to wallow in a feeling of defeat. Now there were issues of limiting beliefs that needed to be addressed. And when they were, he still remained paralysed by a feeling of overwhelm, not knowing where to begin. All he needed was to begin to break the process down into bite sized bits:
Step one – undertake a Google search to see which institutions offer the training needed.
Step two – contact the training organisations within the area to find out details such as cost, training, timing, etc.
Step three – select training organisation and apply.
Step four – do the training
Step five – start applying for positions!
All this may seem obvious, but remember when something is outside of our orbit or comfort zone, we often do feel overwhelmed and donít know where to begin. When faced with such situations, the best thing to do is to simply start doing something. Tony Robbins says motion creates emotion. In other words once we break through the motivation barrier and start to take action, it gets the ball rolling and the more we do, the more we grow in confidence. If one door closes, find another one to openÖimmediately! If the action steps seem too big, then break them down, while all the time keeping your heart and mind on the higher purpose, while continually reinforcing the empowering beliefs. Focus on the future ñ imagine how great it will be when you achieve this resolution. Alternatively, imagine how much it will suck if you donít follow through on this resolution! Dwelling on that will motivate you to take action, because we do more to avoid pain than seek pleasure.
Three keys to making New Year’s resolutions that you will keep:
These three keys will unlock a capacity to successfully achieve New Yearís Resolutions which will dramatically change the way you begin 2014 So what are some potential obstacles to applying these steps?
Our limiting beliefs are mostly unconscious and we need some help in identifying them, locating the root cause and dealing with it, and creating new neural pathways to cement more empowering beliefs. When then need help in dealing with the negative emotions around them, and creating a state that will serve us rather than disempower us.
Our higher purpose is not always clear, and we need help in moving beyond the boundaries of our thinking.
We need someone to help us create the action steps, and hold us accountable to getting started.
A skilled and experienced coach is able to work with you in removing these obstacles, and rise up into the amazing potential that is within you. For this reason I have put together a special Festive Season package of unlimited coaching sessions over December January, including:
all for only $1,595.00
Are you ready to make New Yearís Resolutions that you will keep? If so, call me now on 0404 469 649 for an obligation free chat or email me at [email protected] You know, you have within you everything you need to make the changes necessary for life transforming resolutions that you will keep!
Frazer Holmes Coaching
Mark Setch is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) with the International Coaching Federation. As a Leadership and Personal Development Coach and Trainer, Mark's passion is to enable people unleash their life and leadership potential. Mark has held various leadership roles and has been mentoring emerging leaders for over 30 years. He loves relating to people of all ages and walks of life, and his clients have included small business owners, managers in government & not-for-profit organisations, pastors, school chaplains, long-term unemployed, army officers and soldiers in recovery. Mark currently serves as Director of Training within Neurocoaching Australia.